5 Disney Dads I’d Call “Daddy”
Listen — Father’s Day is here, and while everybody else is out here buying ties and grilling meat that ain’t got no seasoning, I’m thinking about the animated daddies I’d call zaddy.
Yep, I said it. Disney got some fine cartoon fathers, and it’s high time we talk about it. Y’all can celebrate Mufasa’s wisdom all you want — I’m tryna see what that mane do!
This one’s for the cartoon papas who had no business being that fine in children’s movies.
5. King Triton
This is probably surprising to people, because he is the founding father of Disney daddies. The original Disney daddy. The ultimate Disney daddy. But it gets better than this, because he’s, like, obviously hot — right?
Pros:
Tan, even though he lives under the water… which doesn’t really make sense.
Authority figure.
Hot graying thing going on — like, we love a little bit older.
Cons:
An aggressive set of nipples.
Some seriously problematic anger issues that I’m going to leave behind.
But anyway, smoke show.
4. Aladdin’s Father
Now, #4 feels like a pick for the real Disney adults. I’m not saying I am one… but it’s Aladdin’s father, which you’d only know about if you’ve seen, like, the Aladdin threequel.
Pros:
Wonderful hair. Excellent. I love a little gray streak. (We’re noticing a theme. I can’t be bothered with a young man, you know what I mean?)
Strong cheekbones. If Aladdin is a snack, his dad is the meal, okay?
He’s the King of Thieves, so not only is he stealing money… he’s also stealing my heart.
Cons:
Where has he been? Why wasn’t he in movie one? Or movie two?
Why did he leave Aladdin behind?
We hate a neglectful father, but we love a daddy.
3. Chief Tui
Okay, #3 is Moana’s dad, Chief Tui. Just the name alone… period. He is a total beefcake! I like ‘em beefy, you know what I’m saying? I like ‘em stacked.
He’s got that BCE — big chief energy. He’s not just leading you through life, he’s also leading his entire people group, okay?
Let’s not pay attention to him trying to stop Moana from chasing her dreams. The water was dangerous, so he was in his right.
Pros:
He’s got muscles. He can pick you up. He can bench press you.
Sexy stack of tats.
Cares for and empowers women. Exhibit: his daughter.
Giving The Rock
Cons:
Helicopter parent
2. Mufasa
Now, you’re probably wondering, that’s a lion, girl. And that’s okay. We don’t discriminate around here.
First of all — gorgeous hair. Absolutely beautiful set of hair that we will pass down to our children, that we will have. And that’s on period.
James Earl Jones does his voice, and that makes him the ultimate daddy. He’s got that deep voice, though — like, he could say jump and I’d say how high?
He’s the literal king of the jungle. And he’s not just coming in with prowess, he’s coming in with acreage. I’m gonna be living. I’m gonna be sitting pretty.
Pros:
Gorgeous, luxurious hair.
James Earl Jones voice. Enough said.
Literal king of the jungle.
Wisdom and leadership.
Acres. Everything the light touches, baby.
Lions are inherently sexy. I don’t make the rules.
Died in sacrifice, which is also very hot.
Cons:
Unfortunately… deceased.
Honorable Mentions
Dad from Coco
He's got a tan. He's got a mustache. He's a provider, okay?
He's blue-collar and there's nothing I love more than hot blue-collar, okay? I love hot blue-collar.
Mr. Incredible
It's in the name. Explained.
Anna and Elsa's Dad
It's just giving. It's giving cheekbone. It's giving natural blush. I'm loving that…it's a little femme. I'm here for it.
Dad from Raya
He is just hot. I love a man bun.
Tramp
Period. I don't even have to explain that one. Tramp, period. I’m the Lady.
In the number one spot. Number one. Top billing. Disney’s daddiest daddy. Like — he’s those TikToks where it’s the caption “this” and then me bent over a railing.
It’s Bill Anderson, also known as the Inside Out Dad.
Inside Out Dad 🏆
He’s got BDE. And I know what you’re thinking — no, not that one. Big Dad Energy. He is literally just such a dad.
Look at that mustache. Look at those eyebrows. Look at that concerned gaze. But look at the excitement in his eyes when his daughter tells him things. He cares, you know what I’m saying? He’s a dad that listens.
He also knows how to learn, okay? He’s there. He’s empathetic. He shows up for his daughter. It’s not all about the visuals.
And the internet agrees. He’s got meme status behind him.
Pros:
Iconic mustache and eyebrows combo.
Lights up when his daughter tells him things.
Learns, grows, listens.
Absolutely perfect set of teeth and beautiful brown eyes you could just get lost in.
Meme-famous for a reason.
Cons:
Honestly… none.
So, that’s my Top 5 — the official and absolutely correct ranking of Disney daddies who could get it.
Happy Father’s Day to the men who show up, lead with love, and sometimes make you feel things you probably shouldn’t about a cartoon character.