3 Things Hailey Bieber Should Buy Now That She’s A Billionaire
It’s simply impossible to go a full week without hearing about this lady.
Today, that’s actually a good thing because finally, the headlines are about her, not that triflin’ Canadian man. Proof that no matter how much money you have, baby daddies still be so embarrassing.
I’ll go ahead and tell you: this is biased. I love Hailey doooowwwwn. And I’m not one of those bandwagon Hailey Bieber girls, either. I was fully invested before the New Year’s Eve kiss with JB in 2016. I remember liking her “need a NYE kiss” tweet like 8 days before that photo surfaced.
Listen, you had to be there! It was like we manifested this together.
In Case You Missed It: e.l.f. Acquired Rhode for $1 Billion
Hoes mad.
Hailey Bieber’s skincare line, Rhode, just got acquired for a cool one billy by e.l.f. Beauty (Business of Fashion).
Not surprising. Here’s why:
She’s Hailey Bieber
Are you not on Tiktok? Her influence is undeniable. She’s had a grip on the “clean girl” aesthetic for years atp.
She Built a Visually Flawless, Marketable Brand
Say what you will about nepo babies, but you can’t fake taste! From product packaging to campaign visuals and events, Rhode is consistent, beautiful, and curated in a way that consumers want to replicate.
The brand feels like Hailey, and that authenticity is marketable.
Product Innovation That (Mostly) Delivers
TBH: from my experience, the peptide lip treatments have the texture of windblown sand on fresh gloss. But beyond that, her skincare seems to geniunely perform.
She’s also shown admirable growth in collaboration with content creators of color and expanded shade ranges to be more inclusive.
This seems to be a personal value of hers and it’s commendable to see and experience that through her brand.
Reached the Ceiling?
Be real with yourself. This was written by a person who reads headlines from The Cut and Complex on Instagram and goes on about her day.
If you want actual information on numbers and projection, go to Forbes. I’m not a trend forecaster by any means, but with Rhode already in international markets and landing in Sephora, the brand has likely hit its scaling ceiling, hence the sale.
All She Needed Was A Platform 😭
Building something successful enough to create your own financial independence is every business owner’s dream. Congratulations, Hailey!!!
Here are a few treats I think Hailey deserves now that she’s a billionaire:
1. The Best Divorce Attorney Money Can Buy
Because Justin’s alleged “You’ll never be in Vogue” comment? Yeah, that’s spiritual warfare.
She probably told him he wouldn’t finish a tour again, and he retaliated with that. I’d call that irreconcilable differences.
2. A Tech Employee Dedicated to Her Social Media Comments
How is she supposed to reply to my comment about telling Jack to hit me back on his iPad when trolls are still crying about 2014? A full-time comment wrangler is the only way to buy Jelena-bully silence.
Honestly, she should also hire private investigators to track people by IP address. Arrests for cyberbullying might take a millennium, but the mugshots? Here for it. 🍿
3. A Bribe for Sephora’s Global Visual Merchandising Director
Huge opportunity to be messy and make sure Rhode is right next to Rare Beauty in stores. Let’s have a blush cunt-off to see who’s is really takin’ it!
Hailey’s brilliant team and her own creative, visionary mind earned her this moment. Raise your glasses - here’s to building an empire, hitting your goals, and signing the paperwork to get your maiden name back. 🥂